Pay No Attention to the Man Behind the Curtain!

“Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!”

Day 17 of the 30 Day Journal Project

Working on Day 17 of Lisa Sonora Beam’s Root: A 30 Day Journal Project, I’m discovering the glitches in my creative voice. I hear voices — silly little negative voices — that tell me I’m “not a real artist”, what I’m doing isn’t good enough, I have to go to school to become a real artist, and (and here’s my biggie) that I’m not worth anything if I’m not making a lot of money as an artist.

These voices are just my own fears. And really, they’re just like the magician in The Wizard of Oz, the man hiding behind the curtain. He makes it all up. It’s not real. “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!” he says hoping not to get found out. I’m going to be brave Dorothy, and wear my sparkly, loud, bright shoes in my journey *home*.

And keeping myself accountable, here’s a {PROGRESS REPORT #1:}

*I called my agency and officially took myself off the books. We’re going to start with 3 months off and see how it goes.

*I’ve been working every day in the studio, putting in the time.

*I’m selling prints of my latest piece, Christine’s Ganeesh!

*I have elected not to take college classes this semester because auditing costs the same as credited classes, and with the traveling I’m doing these next few months, I’ll fail simply on absences alone. [At first I felt like I was being a slacker, but then, I realized I could put that time into my studio work. Maybe more valuable (certainly less expensive and stressful) in the long run!]

*I getting daily support from the women at The Brave Girls Club, who are some pretty fabulous women, sharing, doing, and being creative!