emily cline art

gettin' my ya-ya's out

lost, groundless, indestructible — oh my!

3

My new friend and neighbor The Divine Miss B has been sharing Pema Chodron nuggets with me from her book “When Things Fall Apart”. Pema talks about “groundlessness”. you know the feeling, like the floor’s been ripped out from underneath you. weeee.

Going through massive transitions — changing careers, leaving my beloved LA sistahs, dear friends, and home, and now (*breathe*)  having to return our crazy but much loved 6 year old dog to her breeder after she bit our 4 year old son on the head — I feel like I’m bobbing in an endless ocean, groundless, without even a raft to cling to. Certainly none of my usual healthier life preservers.

Ms. Chodron had a sign on her wall that said: “Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us.” Good news for me, Pema points out, my pain-filled shifting. And, reluctantly, I have to admit, it is true. I have found:

*the love I have for my man — the Yang to my Ying, the Greg to my Dharma — is *indestructible*.

*living with furry beings counts as a certified floatation device.

*my Alone Time is just as vital as my time spent with my parents, my yemmas, my sistahs.

*and my need to be ‘of service’ in this world cannot be swayed, even as it buoys in the absence of terra firma.

So tell me. Have you had the fortune of being been groundless? Did you find your ‘indestructible’?

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3 thoughts on “lost, groundless, indestructible — oh my!

  1. Jennifer

    Like this entry very much, Emily.

    Not sure if your question is rhetorical, so if it is, excuse my response.

    I’ve found over the years that in fact, some aspects of my character are indestructible. As in, they’re as much a part of me as the color of my hair and the shape of my fingerprints. That was a little surprising to discover.

    But as for exposing oneself to annihilation — do we really always do this to ourselves? Yes sometimes, but other times, it is done to us. Otherwise known as the School of Hard Knocks.

    As for what we learn from destruction, if we learn anything… that is a tough one. Observing the variety of results, I’d say that real tragedy can exist in peoples’ lives after everything they thought mattered to them is taken away. Sometimes the human spirit is resilient, but sometimes, it can’t come back and flourish. People do die of sadness, hopelessness, and emptiness.

    I’d like to think that when we can revive after such blows, whether self-inflicted or not, we are just very lucky.

    Like

    1. Moi

      Great points, Jennifer, really thoughtful. Yes– the indestructables are like my eye color. Thankfully.
      And yes, so often we do hurt our own selves. I remember walking along a NYC street and overhearing on woman say to another, “I realized I was hurting myself. Why on earth would I want to do that?” and thinking holy he’ll. Why would I? Some of my choices do just hurt though. Saying yes to love is an invitation to pain. It’s part of the deal.
      And the difference between surviving and overcoming, to me, that’s the difference between failure and success.
      Thanks for the coversation, lady. Wish we could hash through this on person.

      Like

  2. Whitney

    So good! I hurt that you are hurting but what a blessing to find there’s a point to it. You are indestructible and you are brave! As I go through my trials and tribulations, I imagine myself as a lump of coal. lol I will be a diamond! I will be a diamond! But first, the pressure, oh the pressure. and time. Thank you for sharing your light bulb! xoxo

    Like

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